"Motherhood isn’t meant to be survived but enjoyed. Yet, the skills we need to enjoy it usually are learned after-the-fact. I hate it when that happens."
~Amy Scott
Amy Scott is an a fellow blogger and mother of six children under the age of 11. I recently discovered a blog series she wrote some time back called
Life With Three Under Three. In the series she shares her perspective and advice on homemaking for moms who are dealing with a house full of little ones. Here is an excerpt from the series:
It’s maternal instinct to desire and nurture babies. We’re created for it; it’s basic biology. The problem is that our culture suppresses the natural urge and calls it unnatural. This is why I messed with nature, took synthetic hormones, and hung over a toilet for months. If I said, “I’m getting married and hope raise a family soon,” I’d likely be labeled “irresponsible” by my evangelical brethren; for the more fortunate, it’s possible to escape with just being weird.
But there is a resurgence of women (that I’ve never noticed before—maybe I had my eyes closed or maybe the internet made it possible for them to band together) who are now saying, “Yes, I want to raise a family. I’ll agree that babies are good and can glorify God….but how?”
After a few babies, reality sets in and the Christian mom begins to think that maybe everyone had a good point. This is really hard. She is knee-deep in Cheerios. The laundry has an unnatural smell to it. She’s knows the theme song to every show in the PBS morning lineup. Her husband gets to talk to people that are taller than his waist during the day and she feels jealous. The kids are crying, but when it’s quiet she is left with the thought, “How does doing THIS glorify God? And how in the world do I do this?!”
Our 21st-century homes do not have front porches. Quilting circles are only found in books. And the hospital nurse at your last delivery? She was 20. Her coaching consisted of asking every few minutes if you were ready for an epidural.
Has it really come to this? And if so, is it OK?
I don’t think it’s OK. I also think many women agree with me. We weren’t meant to do it alone. We weren’t meant to take our cues from the broader culture. We want to know that it’s OK to cross-the-line and have Baby #3 (on purpose). We want to raise them to love Jesus and not lose our minds at the same time. We want to know that our sacrifice means something, and at the end of the day, our pursuit of God’s glory made a difference.
I think Amy hits the nail on the head when she explains that there are mothers who believe children are a blessing and want to have them, but when the realities of parenting and homemaking set in, if a young mother doesn't know "how" exactly they are a blessing and/or how to train them and manage their homes, she becomes doubtful and distraught. At that point, a tubulagtion starts sounding pretty good.
Also, I agree with her point that "we weren't meant to do it alone." The bible says that the older women ought to "teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed" (Titus 2:4-5) Now if you know me, you know I am not one who is afraid to ask for help/advice (in fact, this has gotten me in trouble a time or two;). Therefore, I would gladly welcome instruction from some older women who have a biblical worldview and have successfully brought their children up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord(Eph 6:4). Nevertheless, though I have a few mentors in my life, most of them are not much more than 10 years older than me and are still in the thick of parenting.
My question is: where are these "older women" at? I might just be overlooking some great resources, but there don't seem to be many older women who have a godly outcome and perspective on family who are willing to mentor and teach. Judging by our society's post-feminist cultural norms, it might be just be safe to assume that they would love to help, but their too busy at work.
With that said, I praise God for godly women like Amy who have been there and are not too busy, too proud, or too scared to share a thing or two with us "young mommies" over the blogosphere! Not only is she a riot, she has great tips, and offers a honest and realistic idea of the challenges that face moms during this season of life.
