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Thursday, May 20, 2010

Hold Hands While You Hash It Out


Jancee Dunn has a clever article in the June issue of Real Simple. The article is entitled; "Life Lessons" and number one reads:

1. Hold Hands While You Hash It Out

My folks have been married for 47 years. One of my father's rules for a happy marriage is that if a nasty argument erupts, hold hands as you fight. You''ll feel guilty doing this, but here's the thing: It works.

Recently, my husband, Tom, forgot to pay a few bills that were buried under a pile of clutter. I was incandescent with rage. So we interlaced our fingers while we talked it out, and I felt my blood pressure plummet and my endorphins flow in spite of myself. It's impossible to scream at someone who is giving your hand a gentle squeeze. It just is.

The closest thing that I have done to this has been stopping in the middle of a heated argument, that was going no where fast, to join hands and pray for God to help us work it out. Something about that prayer always seemed to help hubby and I let go of a little rage.

Nevertheless, I like Dunn's suggestion of holding hands, period. I think I might give this one a try! Of course, I would have to explain the logic to hubby before the situation arises, lest he thinks I'm trying to "walk up on him" to grab his hand in efforts to flip him over my back or something;)


  1. Wow, that's asking a lot!!!!! However, I promise to keep it in mind for next time!! Great post.

  2. This si very interesting to me.I've never had a 'nasty/heated' argument with my husband but I've witnessed others and I've never seen them using anything vaguely like this.Seems like a very good idea.I've seen people simmering in their rage for days/weeks-maybe this would help!

  3. That is a beautiful poat. I need to remind myself of it.
    I have enjoyed visiting very much.
    Thanks for sharing so much


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