The Anatomy of Trust

In a season when I am praying about and looking to strengthen my relationships and my relational ability, this talk is so relevant and helpful! Take a listen and let me know what you think.

I have hard days.

Really hard. Here is my Facebook post after a "wild" evening with the kids...

It all started when one of them starting crying because they couldn't find one of their gloves. That crying continued for about 10 minutes in the car. As I entered the grocery store I realized I forgot my list. I could not remember giving the children any candy, but they acted as if they had each ate a half pound of sugar. Of course, three had a bathroom emergency in the midst. After almost an hour of shenanigans, one dropped a glass jar of pesto sauce in the aisle. Oh, the shame.

I finally got all of them in the car. I could feel my upper back muscles tensing up as I loaded the groceries in the trunk. It is now dark, cold, the wind is blowing my hair all over my head. Just when I thought I had a moment of silence, I hear one say in a dramatic, story-telling voice, "Oh, poor Mommy. The wind is blowing as she tugs the heavy groceries into the car..." as if she is narrating my saga...Really?

I need everyone to close their eyes and stretch their hands toward the computer screen in a moment of silent prayer for me right now. ‪#‎Jesusberestraint‬ ‪#‎nowitshomeworktime‬ ‪#‎ihavetomovebedtimeuptonight‬

Good Good Father

I think most of us can identify times when God has been portrayed as a hard taskmaster. We may pinpoint times in which he has been presented to us or viewed by us as distant, indifferent or detached. Nevertheless, that is not an adequate portrayal of who God is or how he wants us to view/relate Him.

In fact, I have recently been hearing the term "sonship" be used to address this issue. Although I am still learning, it is my understanding that embracing sonship means to embrace and be rooted and grounded in the truth that we are sons and daughters of God. We have been adopted by Him and therefore, can approach him with all of the confidence and surety of a child approaching his or her dad. I think this song speaks well to that truth, the essence of our relationship with God, and how we should view Him. It has really been ministering to me. I hope you enjoy it as well!

On skipping and the wonders of childhood.

My Halle is currently 4 years old and she skips. And I mean she skips everywhere! In the kitchen, up the stairs, to the school bus, around the house, in the driveway. I must tell you, it brings me so much joy to see her skipping.

One of my favorite bloggers - Katherine from www.raisingfive.com, wrote this about motherhood:

I will never forget a conversation I had with my mom once. I was an exhausted young mother, drowning in the incessance of the job, (is that a word, even?). Somewhere in the middle of my dronings about the difficulty I was facing, she got quiet and said, "When I think about the years with you kids at home [there were four of us], it's almost like it was all a dream."

Now that I am but two years away from my first child leaving home I am beginning to understand what she meant.

These years are frustrating, tiring, monotonous, tedious. I have never been so angry, so bewildered, so entirely consumed with discouragement, fear, or doubt.

And yet...they are filled with a kind of wonder and happiness and hope and the breathtaking exhilaration of looking up one day and realizing that that amorphous blip on the sonogram suddenly resembles a mature young man or woman (or, depending on where you are, maybe they are just getting, say, potty trained). And that the circle of life is about to come around and give you whiplash.

I completely identify with Katherine's sentiments and they bring so much perspective. I became a mother at the age of 23. Now, at 33, I realize how completely not ready I was and how difficult that adjustment was for me. In some respect, I have heard moms who started their families at a much later age than I, express similar frustrations and struggles similar to what I experienced transitioning into parenthood. Perhaps certain frustrations just come with the territory. Nevertheless, now that I am ten years in (I cannot believe I have a 10-year-old, but that is another post), I can see how indeed time is fleeting. It is really beginning to feel like the past years (when I was pregnant and breastfeeding, and trying to control toddlers) now almost feels like a dream.

If I could go back some 5-10 years, I think I would have relaxed a bit. I would not have been so focused on being the perfect homemaker or mother. Instead, I would have taken more time to savor sweet and delightful things like lullabies, silly songs, and skipping.

So, yep. That's all I have for you today...skipping. I am enjoying it very much at the moment and hoping she doesn't stop anytime soon :-)

Northwestern vs. University of Illinois

Hello blog!

I am posting sparingly nowadays, but there is still much going on in my life! I have been contemplating a return back to regular blogging as a way to help me continue to capture, process, and savor life's moments. I have mentioned before that I love being able to jump on here and see where my mind was at and all that was going on at various season's of life. The most challenging thing might just be carving out time to create posts, but I think I am going to give it a try. Interestingly enough, I noticed that it was exactly a year ago today that I last posted!

Here are some photos of my family and I at a NU football game the Saturday after Thanksgiving. Although we were pretty cold, this was exciting for all of us because hubby and I are both Northwestern alum and this was the first college football game the children ever attended! Most exciting of all, NU won! Go wildcats!