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Tuesday, June 23, 2009

On Courtship- Courtship Series Part 1


Recently, a Virtuous Living reader emailed me. She wrote:

I enjoy your posts and your blog regularly. As a sister in Christ who has traveled the road of singleness/ courting/ marriage I wanted to know if you could offer some advice. There is a guy that is interested in courting me. I have never courted (according to Christian principles) before, and I'm not sure how to proceed. What are some good rules to follow when courting from your perspective? Are there books you recommend? Besides getting to know each other (and seeking God), what should the couple be doing? Any other advice and/ or;, suggestions?

PS- Feel free to post these questions to your blog!

As a christian mom, I desire to gain a better understanding of this area so that I can guide my children when the time comes. In addition, I want to be a blessing to those of you who may have the same and/or similar questions. So, I plan to devote some upcoming post to the subject of Courtship.

Let me begin by saying I am in NO WAY an expert on this subject! In fact, since I have been researching material in this area, I am learning new information that I have never heard before. Though I will share a little about my personal experiences, there are various why I wouldn't say that those experiences entirely align with the biblical model of courtship( I will explain more on this in a future post).

With that, as you read my ideas and experiences on this, please keep in mind that "my approach," to courtship was based on my own unique set of circumstances and the biblical principals I understood and was able to apply at the time. It is not meant to be taken as "doctrine." As I heard a preacher say once, "You can't make a doctrine out of personal experiences!" True doctrine must come from the word of God.

With that said, perhaps you are reading this and actually have alot of biblical teaching/resources in this area. Maybe you are reading this and have many questions you would like to be addressed in this area. Please, feel free to join the upcoming discussion and give your "2 cents!"


  1. Paul Washer has a series on Courtship that can be found on YouTube. This is a link to the first of 10 videos:

    Also, a good start is learning what biblical manhood and womanhood are. Voddie Baucham does a great job of explaining this.
    Biblical manhood:
    Biblical Womanhood:

    i pray these are a blessing to you!

  2. Oh and I must say this one is great as well! It's an interview with Voddie Baucham and a typical young man:

  3. Awesome! Thanks Kiara! I'm going to put these in a post!

  4. I'm so excited about this series! Yay!

  5. Hello LH. Summer blessings to you. Hope all is well.

    What a great series to do.

    A regret I have is with what I wished I had talked more to my children with when they were little children. Those would be the values they would need to be looking for in their future spouse. Living life with these values as well as looking for these qualities in their future mate.

    I did some of this, but looking back at what was shared, I wish I had shared more little tidbits of information (age appropriate) for them to hear that would plant seeds that would take root in their young souls and grow into maturity to help them with their own courting, marriage and adult life.

    For example...when they were 5 years of age, talk about honesty being a good virtue and explain what it is and why we should be honest...onto to saying And when you are of the age and maturity to marry, the person that you are going to enter into this precious covenant with should have the same value.

    I think it is an advantage to be a Parent that has the tender young years of their children's childhoods to feed the children small morsels of information and not huge bites of information that they may not be able to understand at such a young age.

    Pray for the Holy Spirit's help, guidance and direction. Then read Proverbs. This would be a superior book to read to and with a young child about 7 or 8 years old. The chapters are short and since there are 31 chapters in this book, for each day you'd have a chapter to share and talk about with them. For instance the 24th of the month read chapter 24 for the day.

    I'm abit long winded today.
    Have a blessed day,

  6. Deanna, thanks for adding your wisdom and experience to this discussion.

  7. I would appreciate more visual materials, to make your blog more attractive, but your writing style really compensates it. But there is always place for improvement


Your ideas, questions, and comments are welcome!