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Wednesday, August 25, 2010

What Husbands Wish Their Wives Knew About Men

"We talk about a man needing respect and affirmation. Probably the most powerful way you affirm your husband and show respect to him is when you respond to him sexually.

I've said to Mary Ann; "You can affirm me all day long. You can say: 'You're smart. You're handsome. How did you do that? That's great!' and at night if I say, So you interested? and she goes 'Eh, not tonight.' I go: Then why were you lying to me all day?!"

This is a small excerpt from The Power of Respect, which is part 3 of Bob Lepine's message: What Husbands Wish Their Wives Knew About Men.

This was so good I had to email it to all of my married friends! You can hear and/or purchase the entire message here.


  1. So true! It sends our husbands mixed signals. I think that's where a lot of their frustration comes from. They are confused!
    Thanks for sharing :)

  2. I am as single as the day is long, so maybe I am just confused...does marriage mean having obligatory sex with your husband regardless of how you may feel? And how does that render the affirmations insincere?

  3. Eshe- LOL! Those are two very good questions that I am still growing in understanding in myself, hence the

    I don't know if you listened to the podcast I linked to of the entire message, but the gentleman on there is speaking from a man's point of view to a group of 500 women.

    He shares some basic scriptures about marriage like, 1 Cor 7:5, which tells married couples not to defraud (deny each other sexually) one another.

    He explains that verse in a little more detail indicating that its about avoiding extremes(like we have sex only twice a month and 90% of the time I don't have sex with my husband b/c he gets on my nerves, I'm too stressed etc).

    He's saying that if you are not having sex regularly b/c there are chronic issues, then deal with the issues so you can have sex regularly.

    He's not saying that you must have sex with your spouse no matter how you feel (sick, sad, tired etc) but, that there is a way to let your spouse know "Honey, I would love to come together with you, but I just don't have the energy tonight, let's make a date to really make this special tomorrow."

    He makes the point that although men value verbal affirmation, they think "Well, if I'm all that, why don't you want me sexually?"

    This is also a hard concept for me to grasp, b/c I am not like that. I don't connect sex and respect that closely. However, I do equate other this closely, like communication and love. "If you love me and I'm upset, then you should take time to talk to me and see how I feel" My husband thinks more like, "Okay, you love me but, you're big deal."

    I think the point that is being made is that men and women are wired differently and I think that is valid. It is something that I have heard from many men and various sources and I think that the way respect and sex is connected for most men is different than it is for most women. So, I'm trying to understand that more.

    Sorry to ramble a bit. Does that make sense?


Your ideas, questions, and comments are welcome!