Being His Crown

"A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones." (Proverbs 12:4)

At first glance, this scripture causes my "fallen nature red flags" to go off. The flesh asks, "What am I now? A trophy wife?" "Why does the virtuous woman have to be defined in terms of a man anyway? "Why can't she be her own crown?"

Once I am able to cast all that down, I can then humble myself enough to say, "Lord, what do you mean by this? and "How can I become this woman whom you speak of?"

Once I look deeper into the text, I find out that ‘To crown’ means to invest with royalty. To bestow something upon as a mark of honor or dignity; to adorn, dignify; also to award first rank.

Webster's also says that ‘to crown’ means "Anything which imparts beauty, splendor, honor or finish; also the highest state or quality of anything." In her article, A Crowning Jewel, author Nancy Campbell writes:

Isn’t it interesting that God says a virtuous woman is a crown? She is not to be trodden underfoot. She is not to be looked down upon. She is not inferior. She is a crown. A crown is worn upon the head. A crown is something that is dazzlingly beautiful. It is usually made of gold and ornamented with precious gems. It is a token of honor.

A virtuous woman adds distinction and dignity to her husband. He is proud to wear her. He wants to show her off. He praises her before others.

When she honors him as king of her home, he will rise to kingly heights in his manhood. When she awards him ‘first rank’ he becomes free to reach his full potential and is inspired to do things he never thought possible. He will treat his wife like a Queen with dignity and respect.

Have you crowned your husband? The more richly you crown him the more you will be blessed.

Honestly, I think it first takes quite a bit of humility in order for us to even concern ourselves with trying to figure out how we can be this "crown" to our husbands. As a wife, I first have to ask myself if I even make my husband a priority.

At first, I may think, "Of course I prioritize my husband! I am always so tired because I work so hard to please him!" However, after closer examination, the truth is that often, I work so hard to please my children and to take care of them. In actuality, I may not be giving my husband what he really wants or needs at all.

I think that often, wives may be working hard to take care of what they deem important for their home and the welfare of their children, sometimes to the detriment of their husband. As a nurturer, its easy for women to focus on our children because they are helpless and dependent on us for everything. Meanwhile, we see our husband as strong and "able to stand on his own two feet." We forget that he needs us and that God created woman for man. The design of a wife is to serve as a helper to her husband.

One of my favorite speakers once said, "You ought to cause someone to be what they wouldn't have been without you!" I believe that this is what God is getting at when he says, "a virtuous woman is a crown to her husband."

The bible says that the heart of the husband of a virtuous woman "...doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil" and that "she will do him good and not evil all the days of her life"(Prvb 31:11-12). That text also notes that "Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land"(31:23).

This is a woman who is adding something to the life of her husband. She has not only gained his trust by being consistent in meeting his needs, but I believe the text is letting us know that she has caused him to be what he would not have been without her work and influence. She made his well being and success her priority and it paid off!

Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all (Prvbs 31:28-29).

This is an issue that I know God is dealing with me on and I am keeping at the top of my prayer/priority list!

How about you? Do you think about this issue? How have you dealt with it?